I walk into Eva Longoria Parker’s trailer on the set of Desperate Housewives expecting to see the actress decked out in diamonds and décolletage. After all, this is the woman one British poll recently voted the sexiest TV star of all time. So the person I come upon—in ill-fitting capri pants, a top with puffy sleeves and sneakers—is a shock. I even think I see a scrunchie in her hair!
Is this really Eva Longoria Parker? The same woman splashed across magazines looking effortlessly chic and sophisticated on the arm of her dapper basketball star husband, Tony Parker? Yes, it is, and the outfit, she hastens to tell me, is for her role as Desperate Housewives’ former model Gabrielle Solis, who has, um, let herself go a bit in season five.
Recently, depending on which tabloid you pick up, the star has either gained seven pounds (gasp!) or is pregnant. Spoiler alert: She’s neither fat nor pregnant.
As it turns out, Longoria Parker is a bit of a paradox. She runs her own production company, is a tireless charity worker and political campaigner and gets all the razor-sharp lines on ABC’s still-popular Sunday night dramedy. Yet this brunette, who once told a reporter she didn’t enjoy sex until she started masturbating, insists she’s just a sweet, old-fashioned housewife who cooks dinner, makes sure her husband’s shirts are ironed and loves to sew. (And I wouldn’t have believed her had I not seen the sewing machine in the corner of the trailer or heard her talking about the chicken taco recipe she was making later that night.)
Ironically, Wisteria Lane is the set once used for the TV show Leave It to Beaver, which ran from 1957 to 1963. Could the ghost of iconic homemaker June Cleaver be haunting this Desperate Housewife? I was determined to find out. We sat down to talk about marriage, shoes and the “girlfriend code,” but first…
GLAMOUR: OK, exactly how much weight have you gained?
Eva Longoria Parker: [Laughs.] I’m wearing a fat suit! It’s suffocating. [She shows me the extensive padding hidden under her clothes and pulls out huge foam chicken cutlets from her bra.]
GLAMOUR: But the tabloids all said you got fat! There are “before” and “after” pictures of you looking thin and, uh, thin.
ELP: [Laughs.] I know. Unfortunately, we live our life in public, so any weight gain or pimple is a national story. I don’t get this obsession with weight. It’s not only Hollywood; it’s our society.
GLAMOUR: But you’re pregnant, right?
ELP: I’ve been pregnant since last spring with triplets. [Laughs.] No, if I were pregnant [when the tabloids said I was], I’d have had the child many times over.
GLAMOUR: So you’re not pregnant, and you’re definitely not fat—I’m glad we cleared that up. Let’s talk about your Desperate Housewives costars. You can’t have an ensemble of women who aren’t jealous of one another. Be honest: You all hate each other offscreen.
ELP: [Laughs.] No! If this were a show about four men, it wouldn’t even be an issue, but…
GLAMOUR: People love a catfight.
ELP: Yeah. The women on the show are dear friends of mine. It’s been such a gift for me to be in their presence and learn not only from their acting abilities but from their life experiences.
GLAMOUR: And you started out this season wearing frumpy housedresses and bad hair. What’s up with that?
ELP: Gabrielle let herself go because she was overwhelmed with her kids and her blind husband, Carlos.
GLAMOUR: Don’t you think if all husbands were blind, we would all look like crap?
ELP: Exactly! Gabrielle is like, Who cares?
GLAMOUR: On the show Dana Delaney [Katherine] is dating Teri Hatcher’s [Susan’s] ex….
ELP: All the men have been recycled, even Ricardo [Carlos]. And Jamie Denton [Mike] has made the rounds with everybody…except me!
GLAMOUR: Sounds like a serious breach in girlfriend code to me. What is your code in real life?
ELP: Oh, you never date someone’s ex-boyfriend. Period. That’s not even the unspoken rule—that’s the spoken rule.
GLAMOUR: Is there a statute of limitations on that?
ELP: I don’t know. Luckily, I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve wanted to date one of my friends’ exes.
GLAMOUR: OK, what if you find out your girlfriend’s boyfriend is cheating on her?
ELP: I would tell her. If it were one of my best friends? I would probably take a picture with my camera phone first.
GLAMOUR: What if it’s her husband?
ELP: That’s a trickier one…. It’s tough, because sometimes people kill the messenger. But I think the truth always comes out, regardless of who tells.
GLAMOUR: What advice do you give girlfriends who are looking for love?
ELP: I say, put the energy in the universe.
GLAMOUR: I never know what that actually means.
ELP: Be out there, date. Just get out there and meet people. I think sometimes women are stuck in a type. I’ve never dated the same type. I fall in love with personalities, and they come in different packages.
GLAMOUR: What are three qualities you look for in a man?
ELP: Intelligence, humor and passion.
GLAMOUR: Not looks?
ELP: No, no.
GLAMOUR: But your husband is handsome.
ELP: I lucked out! But I’ve never looked for that in a man.
GLAMOUR: I read once, “Love is the whole history of a woman’s life, but just an episode in a man’s.” Do you think that’s true?
ELP: I don’t know. I believe that men, when they fall, fall harder than women. Women gauge emotions a lot better because we’re more in touch with them, so we’ll give and take as much as we want.
GLAMOUR: Do you believe in a soulmate?
ELP: I believe in soulmates. It could be a lover, it could be a sister, it could be a best friend. It doesn’t have to be romantic.
GLAMOUR: What about happily ever after?
ELP: I take it day by day. Tony and I would love to be together forever. But the only way you get to forever is one day at a time.
GLAMOUR: How long have you been married?
ELP: A year and a half. But we dated for two and a half years first. We didn’t rush.
GLAMOUR: What was the courtship like?
ELP: Tony is very romantic, full of surprises—he’s the surprise king. But whether it’s a surprise party or a sweet note he leaves in my bag, for me it weighs the same.
GLAMOUR: What’s one thing about marriage that’s harder than you thought it’d be?
ELP: Marriage is a commitment, so you always have to work at it. For us, just juggling schedules is the biggest obstacle we have, and we don’t even really have a problem with that either.
GLAMOUR: There was an episode on the show where you had to schedule a sex date with Carlos, your husband. You and Tony have busy lives too. So how many times each week do you schedule sex?
ELP: [Laughs.] We don’t schedule sex!
GLAMOUR: I find that every successful relationship has a flower and a gardener—which one are you?
ELP: I’m the gardener. I definitely nurture.
GLAMOUR: So your strapping husband…
ELP: …is the flower. [Laughs.] But there are times when Tony takes care of me—in an emotional sense, like, OK, let me take the reins on this one. But I love to take care of him. I’m really a very fifties housewife.
GLAMOUR: Seriously?
ELP: Yes, I love having dinner ready and making sure his clothes are ironed and that he’s packed and ready when he goes on road trips.
GLAMOUR: You added his name when you married. Did he ask you to?
ELP: No. Tony didn’t care either way. But I love that tradition, too—it’s romantic.
GLAMOUR: Parker goes with everything.
ELP: [Laughs.] I think when it’s “Eva Longoria Parker,” nobody will be confused.
GLAMOUR: OK, enough about men. Where were you on election night?
ELP: My best friend, Mario [Lopez], my girlfriends and I were watching at home. I campaigned for Barack Obama with Latinos in Colorado, New Mexico and Texas. When they declared him the winner, I was overwhelmed with joy.
GLAMOUR: What do you think of Michelle?
ELP: Oh my God, she’s one of the things I was most excited about! Michelle is going to be an amazing First Lady: She’s intelligent, capable and motivated. She just embodies everything that an American woman should represent.
GLAMOUR: Can a woman have it all?
ELP: Oh yeah—family, work, love. Yes.
GLAMOUR: Do you think they need it all to be complete?
ELP: That depends. I want it all. It’s OK if you don’t. If I were single and had my career, I’d be happy. You have to be happy with what you’re doing.
GLAMOUR: Do you miss glam Gabrielle?
ELP: I love her. But frumpy Gabby has been really fun to play.
GLAMOUR: What’s a frump thing you wouldn’t wear as a petite?
ELP: I’m not a fan of capris. They actually shorten my legs.
GLAMOUR: What are the two things that you swear by?
ELP: Shoes and bags. I’ve worn Forever 21 dresses with a great bag and a great shoe.
GLAMOUR: When I was growing up, I suspected Cinderella was less about the boy and more about the shoe.
ELP: [Laughs.] Exactly! [Her cell phone rings.] Oh, sorry, that’s my sister. Hey, sister! I’m in the middle of an interview. I’ll call you back later. [Hangs up.]
GLAMOUR: Do you have a big family?
ELP: I have three sisters and my mom. We’re all very close.
GLAMOUR: Do you attribute some of your success to having a great mom?
ELP: All of it. It’s why I feel like I never do enough. She worked and took us to school and to soccer practice. And she had dinner on the table every night for my father.
GLAMOUR: Well, Eva, I think you’re really brave to wear that fat suit.
ELP: When this article comes out, Gabrielle will be glam again.
GLAMOUR: Will you miss the frump?
ELP: No.
GLAMOUR: Will Tony?
ELP: [Laughs.] No. Not at all.
